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I smile.
When I think back when there was an “we”. A lot of things happened. Some good and some bad. No lie. I miss it. But sometimes I think it’s for the better. I just have to smile and put a smile on. At least at one point In my Life i was the reason why you smiled. I can see it in your eyes. Iknow were both taking on our own paths, but deep down inside we always care for each other. I hope I ain’t like your other ex’s. I actually glad for everything. Everything that happened. The look that you give me. Tells me everything. You still have it. No matter what. I’ll be here waiting.
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Nightmares.
Sigh* it ain’t cool at all. Nightmares about you. They just haunt me and scare me. I hate that feeling. It feels like we’re back to that same place we started.
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No lie.
I like it this way. No strings attached. Just friends. Im glad.
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You told me.
To just let it be and leave it alone. I thought to myself. How can i leave the feelings for you alone? its hard but im doing it. As long as your happy. Idc. Thats all i want. Be happy girl. Go on.
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Dear ex…
Sorry for bothering you last night. Sigh* i should of never called you. I was going thru some shit last night. With all these commotions i just wanted to run away. So i called you but nah. It wasn’t right iknow. I shoulda never called you. I only bothered you. I just thought you was gonna be there for me but i guess not. Im sorry for the shit i did. But no ones perfect. Also i said a lot of mean shit to you. Some i didn’t mean. Plus i’m sorry for intruding on your happy life. Go be happy because that’s all i ever wanted. Your happiness. I know you and I will never be the same again. The funny thing is we may never talk again. But its fione i can’t always have it my way. I just want you to be successful. We may be going our different ways but its okay. I just have to say. Live your life okay. Don’t put yourself down. Your better. I know you are. Go be something you always did. I know I’m really letting go now. We never really said our goodbyes. But i would like to say goodbye. Maybe one day we will become friends but nah. Look at us.. We’ve been thru a lot together. The only thing is just remember the good times that we had kay. That’s all i want. And please don’t forget me because i won’t forget about you. Yea my love will always be there for you. But now it’ll be friend wise. Just to let you know. Whatever happens. Just have fun and live your life. Hope your doing good too. I know you may not read this or whatever but i had to get this out somehow. I’m sorry for a lot of shit. But I’m glad we happened. You taught me a lot. Thanks. And I love you.
Sincerely,
Brandon Rusty Saelee
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I hate it…
I’m thinking about you again. I hate myself for this. I’m so sad. I needa snap out of it. I can’t torture myself anymore. It hurts even just to hear your name. I’m sorry. I hate thinking about you because I know me and you will never be there anymore. The love and everything gone. I’m so in need of a drink and smoke. Can’t do it. Sigh* (Tear.)
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i get it…
Im walking away. Love still there. but the best is to walk away. Tears are shed and words are said. Im sorry for all the shit that i did. but damn seems to me like i did all this. but it aint. i didnt even get a sorry from you. My heart hurts right now. Nobody is here to talk to me. Im alone. Letting it all settle in on me. Sigh. the pain will never go away it seems like. Its pretty hard to lose feelings for someone who you thought was so great. Yeah of course the love will always be there but i cant see you that way anymore. Because you dont see me that way neither. Its okay ima have to get used to this. I will. Plus i have new ways to cure my pains. Yeah. Also i dont think i will ever be able to trust a girl no more. This hurts so much. So many lies and secrets hidden. But i rather just turn my back and walk out. Everytime i talk to you it hurts my heart. But ill fight it. Its mkay. I want you to be happy so go be it. Go find that right boy for you. Cause obviously im not the one for you. Just go do you. You dont have to think about me. And please dont do nothing because of me because thats just dumb because im not worth it. Not at all. I thought about this all night. I guess this is real. It feels like a dream. But its reality. I guess ima have to move on. Really im going to. No looking back. But the love that i will have for her will never change. It will always be there and i will always be here for you. I just hope one day. We will become more civil to each other. And whatever me and you go through thats between us. Im sorry for everything. But I did it again and again hurting myself. Im so disappinted but yet it seems this is the only way for me. My tears are slowly rolling down my cheeks as i write this. Its okay. Ill be fine. Oh “im fine”.
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If I cry over you, I actually give a fuck about you.
(via camisunn)
